Tuesday, 7 May 2013

May 13 Blog

May 13 Blog

M  - many options
A – accelerates you to
Y – your potential achievements

Would you like
 1 or 2?
2 or 4?
4 or 8?
8 or 16 options ?
You would like at least 8.
So why do you limit yourself to just one or two?

You feel safe.
You are in your comfort zone.

Really ?

You feel  comfortable being limited to just one or two options.
What do you really want?

More choices.

But you just said you feel comfortable with one or two choices.
It would be nice to have more.

More freedom you guess.


What speed do you live your life at ?
..With a bit of pace now and then?
..On and off the brakes?
So if you just had one or two gears and a brake you wouldn’t get far, or not as far as others.
If you had three or four gears you could make a bit of progress.
More options to move forward you might say.
Or what about having five gears, reverse and maybe cruise control?
..Or more?
Now we’re talking!
Look at the choices now to move on!

Your potential achievements/goals

Where did you say you were going?
In what direction?
What do you want to do next?
Do you know what you want to do?
Having a destination or goal is good.
Knowing where you’re going could be very positive.
Getting there with lots of options ....possible routes .. gives you a choice.
Using different gears to  get where you are going  is your choice, fast or slow, steady or at a crawl.
And you may like to think about it as you read this short story.
A youngster was walking along the road as usual into the village from his/her house. A route he/she knew well for no matter what the weather was, he/she stuck to the same route. One day he/she heard a bird singing. He/she looked up but could not see where the bird was. He/she looked and looked but could not see it
This happened two or three times and each time he/she could not find where the bird was. Then one sunny morning he/she saw the bird as it sang on a nearby branch of a tree to the side of the road. He/she paused to listen to it. Then he/she went on his/her way to the village.
The next day he /she heard the bird once again and saw it sitting on the same branch. This time the bird flew just a little way into the woods and the youngster decided to follow it. There was a narrow path below the trees so he/she followed the bird further into the woods. Eventually the path led to small clearing in the trees and the sun made it very warm and welcoming.  He/she followed the bird as it sang and flew from branch to branch and the path took him/her to the edge of the woods from where he/she could see the village. What a surprise!
The next day the young boy/girl decided to go into the woods alone. As he/she was walking along a squirrel crossed the path. He/she decided to follow it along another path.  The squirrel went into the woods and brought the young boy/girl to the edge of the village.
A few days later having tried each of the paths again as well as the road, he/she saw a deer and followed it into the wood on the other side of the road. He/she followed the deer along the path which brought him/her out at the edge of the village.
As he/she walked  on different paths each day he/she learned more and more about the woods, the trees, the flowers, the insects and other animals. Each day he/she learned more and more and told others about the sights and sounds and smells and how he/she felt. So the youngsterl looked for different routes of his /her own which led to the village.
Then he/she realised he/she could go further than the village... much further. 

Friday, 5 April 2013


Spring Blog

Seek the
Inside you
Now and


When we are looking ahead, feeling positive, in harmony with our thoughts, it is amazing how well things evolve for us. What happens then when we keep looking  back, or standing still, when negative thoughts just swirl around us. When we feel discomfort, things look black or we listen to our inner critical voice.
What is it that makes the difference?
Seeking and searching for the difference between when we feel positive about situations and when we feel more anxious, can make the difference and with this knowledge and deeper understanding we can begin to move forward, look outward and feel better within ourselves.


We have energy within us and around us. So how do we use that energy?
How can we turn impossibility into possibility?
How can we turn discomfort into comfort?
How do we change being at dis-ease into ease?
We spend more energy keeping ourselves down, locked away in worries, anxieties, fears, habits and thoughts. Unlocking these negatives and releasing the potential which lies within each of us, will lead us to be more open to the possibilities around us.


Just for the moment, reflect on the skills you have acquired over your lifetime. Just make a note of the positive qualities you have. Just be open to the possible options you may have and don’t forget the support of your family and friends. Or look for new ways to improve your skills and qualities. Be flexible. Being more flexible gives you more choices and options. You already have within you countless skills, qualities and knowledge that perhaps you did not know you had. Ever second since you were born it is claimed that you have been receiving over 2 million bits of information using your senses. That’s a lot of resource to work with.


Just imagine using all those resources to make positive choices, to look ahead, to feel good about yourself, to make things brighter and lighter. So when you look inside yourself make the dark things  brighter, make the heavy things lighter, change the coldness into warmth and turn the critical voice into a motivator.


Do it now.
Act now – today- for really we only have this moment, because we live in the present.


You have the potential to grow. It lies within you.

As you read this short story consider how it might apply to you.
The landscape was covered in snow and ice. All was buried beneath a cold, hard layer. Nothing it seemed could penetrate that grip on the landscape. The icy wind blew and blew across this landscape, keeping it locked up. The sunlight was dim and pale and at times distant, covered in clouds for days and days. It looked as though the landscape would remain locked in this cold, unending, chilly blast.
Slowly the light grew stronger. Little by little the cold eased as warmth began to seep into the landscape. Hardly noticeable at first, as the icy cold wind eased, the clouds began to melt away and the blue sky appeared. Each day more light and warmth worked its magic on the landscape, even the wind grew warmer.
There were rainy days and they helped to soften the ice and snow. As the days became lighter and brighter, different sounds emerged as the ice and snow melted with the warmth of the sun. Then it happened!
What was once buried and locked away, opened up gradually. New shoots began to appear and soon the whole landscape was lighter and brighter, full of colours, growing and growing. Growing stronger and stronger, full of energy and sounds with wonderful smells of freshness and newness. Everywhere you looked the landscape was blooming, lively, full of energy, sounds, tastes and smells.

Thursday, 7 March 2013

March 13 blog

March Blog

M – otivation

A – dvance

R – each out

C – hange

H – elp yourself



Do you want to stop smoking?

Do you want to manage your weight?

Do you want to feel more at peace?

What do you really want?


What is stopping you?

Don’t believe you can do it?

Then it’s time for a new approach, a new way of looking at things.

Now is the time to spring into action.

Advance towards?

Are you yearning to go forward?

To improve?

Still stuck in your thinking, feelings or behaviour?

Then sort out your thinking ,feelings and behaviour

Reach out or reach in ?

Instead of looking out for help, search inside.

You already have resources within you to reach your goals.

You can not not  change.

You already have within you the many resources you need to achieve  your goal, or you can acquire them, such as skills, qualities, options and possible support.

Change for the better?

Do not be afraid.

Change happens all the time so just take one small step at a time.

Where are you now in your thinking, feelings or behaviours?

Where would you prefer to be?

Just think about the steps you would need to take and if those steps seem to be too large then just think of smaller achievable steps and before you know it you have created a small pathway of stepping stones to reach your goal.

Help yourself!

You and only you can make it happen.

Being motivated will enable you to make advances in your thinking, feelings and behaviour. By reaching within your own resources you will reach your goal, making the changes you need to make and in doing so you will help yourself.

Seek advice, look for support and do some research. Do something for yourself.


A stream bubbled gently up from the ground and began to trickle over the grass. Its way was barred by a leaf. So the stream just grew and grew in size until it was strong enough to carry the leaf along with it. After a while the stream lost the leaf. So the stream just wandered on its journey over the land until it came upon a fallen branch .The stream pushed and pushed against the branch but the branch would not move. It seemed too long to go round it and too thick to go over it. So the stream just kept bubbling away and gradually the ground under the branch began to move. Eventually the stream created a hollow under the branch  and so it was able to flow on again over the land.

After a while it came up against a rock. The stream pushed and pushed against it, but the rock did not move. As the stream grew bigger behind the rock it began to explore around the sides of the rock. Gradually the stream found that it could go round the rock on both sides and could join itself up again. Having got round the rock the stream continued on its journey across the land.

After a while it came to a dam which had been built across the land. The stream pushed up against the dam, but the dam did not move. So the stream grew and grew, searched and searched for a way to continue its journey. Eventually the stream grew so much it reached the top of the dam. It looked over the dam and as it grew a little more it was able to flow over the top. And as it trickled over the top, the stream noticed  more trickles flowing over the dam and they joined together as they continued onwards .










Thursday, 5 July 2012

July Blog

July Blog

Just Unconditionally Love Yourself


Stop what you’re doing

Sit down

And relax.

Just take a long, slow, deep breath in,

Through your nose,

Followed by a longer, slow breath out,

Through your mouth.

Just continue breathing in with a long, slow, deep breath through your nose

And as you breathe out

Just think


Let your shoulders relax.

Repeat this several times.

Feeling better now?




Without conditions,

Without judgements,

Without barriers,

Without excuses.

Just let them

Melt away,

Like puddles on a sunny day


Just evaporate

Your self judgements,

Your barriers,

Your excuses,

Your doubts,

Your negative thoughts,

Your personal put downs.

Just let them go

Be unconditional to yourself.

Love yourself

Just take time now

To recall

Great memories,





As you replay each one

Really be in that film.

See it again with your own eyes.

Hear all those sounds again.

Feel in fully throughout your whole body.

Recall the exact time when it happened.

Do that again and again.

Recalling all those wonderful, pleasant times,

And in the recollection

Just be aware of how that makes you feel.

Learn from them.

Learn to love yourself

Once again.


You + self

Just take more time to think about loving yourself more.

Be interested in yourself.

Be excited about yourself.

Be enthusiastic

Be proud

Be alert

Be inspired

Be determined

Be attentive

Be active about yourself.

Just take the  time

To make yourself,

The No.1 priority for a change,

And when you do

Have a fantastic


Just Unconditionally Love Yourself.

Monday, 11 June 2012

June Blog

June Blog

Just  the other day I was in the lovely village of Dent.

Just imagine seeing green meadows,

Rolling hills,

Feel the warm sunshine

On your face,

Smell spring in the air,

Newly baked bread,

The touch of the warm walls,

Hearing the birdsong

And the gentle warm breeze.

Hear the babble of the beck,

The occasional baa-ing of the lambs

And the mooing cows sitting in the shade.

It was a timeless zone.

The streets echoed a bygone age.

Being somewhere,

With no traffic,

No hustle and bustle,

Time to unwind.


That’s the thing to do.

Unburden the thoughts,

Undo the anxiety,

Unleash the joy of relaxation.

Nurture yourself,

Nestled in the narrow streets of Dent.

Knowing a sense of safety and security,

Positively around you,

Beneath the rolling hillsides,

Like arms outstretched ,

To cradle and hold you,

While you learn again

To just let go and relax.

Experience once again

A peace,

A quiet,

A stillness,

A timeless existence.

Time to evaluate the outcomes you seek,

Examine your inner self.

If you think this is a special place,

Yes – it is !

Just imagine,

If you could take all these qualities and thoughts,

Which Dent encaptures.

Just imagine,

Recapturing these feelings,


Any time,


To feel that peace once again.


For we all have a special place within us.

Where is your special place?


Just stop,


Breathe deeply and slowly,

Be safe in your environment.

Just close your eyes

And think about being

Transported to your special place.

Imagine just doing that.

At any time,

 It is safe,

 For you to do so.


What magic that would be.

And guess what?  

Something really fantastic.


When you know where your special place is.

So where is your special place?

Monday, 30 April 2012

April Showers Bring May Flowers

April showers bring forth May flowers.

Aim to weed out the worries in your life

As I was sitting in the garden looking at the variety of yellows and green and blues I spied a spider’s thread blowing in the wind. It was barely visible. In fact it was only visible when the sunlight caught it at the right angle to be seen. It was a fleeting moment because the gently breeze moved the thread and it was gone – invisible once again. I knew it was there but I could no longer see it.

This encounter started me thinking about the inner garden we all have in our minds.

Mary Mary quite contrary

How does your garden grow.

With positive thoughts and dreams

Or worry weeds  row upon row.

Plan and nurture yourself for a brighter outcome in your ‘garden’.

Plan to make positive changes by looking after yourself more. Practice new ways of thinking  and acting. Healthy alternatives take time to become a pattern, but just like your garden be patient with your efforts and the seeds will lead to healthy plants of thinking and acting. Plant healthy beliefs and nurture them until they have a good root system. When healthy self belief plants thrive the worry weeds have greater difficulty in taking hold.

So put things in perspective and be a calm patient gardener. Plan to plant good healthy self belief plants and root out the worry weeds as soon as they appear.

Root out the weeds of anxiety, stress, and phobias which cause poor health and self esteem. Root out the unhealthy and rigid ways of thinking. Root out the behaviour weeds such as avoidance rituals, safe patterns, perfectionism and trying hard to please all the time. Perhaps you see an anxiety weed and you may choose to ignore it, thinking that it will go away and die off. Perhaps it may eliminate itself- not very likely because it is an anxiety weed with deep, well established roots.

Perhaps you feel ashamed about an issue so you choose to ignore it, deny it or avoid it. Well setbacks are normal. Weeds grow everywhere but don’t assume the worst. The weeds can be dealt with using patient endeavour. Remember worry weeds grow best when you  are run down, under stress or when you are ill. So don’t leave the garden to fend for itself, resist your old behaviours.

I ntroduce new varieties of positive plant patterns in your inner garden. You could try new varieties such as healthy thinking, being more flexible, being more accepting of yourself, managing uncertainty and allowing mistakes to happen. The more varieties you plant the more colourful your inner garden will become with less weeds.

Life in your inner garden will flourish and be more colourful when you take positive action to cultivate it and root out the worry weeds. No garden is weed free so planting desirable plants is not enough of itself. You need to continue to water and feed your new varieties of plants. You need to keep up with the weeding in order to maintain a lovely healthy inner garden.

List the factors which enable worry weeds to grow.

Seasonal changes

Lack of sleep

Lack of activity

Hassles piling up

Little or few social interactions.

Feeling tired

Disagreements constantly

Demanding boss

Disagreeable workmates

Sound familiar?

So just be a happy gardener

Be calm

Use setbacks to plan a better response next time.

Identify the set backs and plan ahead.

Put things in perspective – look at the whole garden not just the patch in front of you.

Be compassionate with yourself.

Remember the colourful gains.

Face up to the weeds of fear and root them out.

Set achievable goals

Hang on and things will improve.

So Mary Mary quite contrary

How does your garden grow?

With lots of positive plants and flowers

Because I gave the worry weeds the heave ho.

Whenever you want help with your inner garden just contact me  on info@lakelandandbaytherapy.co.uk

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

March onwards and upwards

March On

Recently I have been walking around the area where I live in the South of the Lake District. I was delivering leaflets and as I was walking around it set me thinking about the ups and downs of our lives. Some of us are buried in the details and others are perched above able to see the bigger picture.

Some of the roads were small and narrow and others were wider. So is our map of the world limited to the small pathways of beliefs and awareness or is it expanded to take in the wider routes with more choices? When we meet a crossroads in our lives are we flexible enough to make those choices? It also reminded me of the many roads and pathways we walk along in our lives. Are we moving away to avoid situations or are we moving forwards in a positive direction of travel?


As I walked around I was amazed by the contrast in the places I visited. Some were well taken care of, clean and tidy and organised. Others outwardly looked cluttered. Again it set me thinking. How do we achieve order in our lives given the pressures we place on ourselves? Or do some of us just focus inwardly? We’ve given up on using our potential. Perhaps we feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin. Do we act to avoid and move away from situations or do we act to address our issues and so move forward?

Resources – reflection and rejection

As I walked around it was as though all the pathways to all the houses and dwellings was like visiting some of the many resources we have within us, within our map of the world. Just imagine your street, neighbourhood, village or district with each house being a resource to be used. Then all of a sudden as we picture that we realise we have lots of personal resources. Instead of dismissing them outright, be more reflective, consider your achievements, skills, knowledge, expertise, know how, experiences. Be open to what other resources you will have within you which you have not yet explored and perhaps your map of the world will expand a little more.

Just imagine going up in a balloon to survey the landscape. How many roads would you see? How many paths? How many shortcuts? My my! Just look at how many there in your map. So why limit yourself to the byroads?  Reflection lifts us out of the details. If we go high enough even a dull day will be brighter with all the various colours around. There are parts in sunshine, not clouded over. Just reflect on the resources you have and let them rejuvenate you once more.

Contemplate and commit

Just focus on your breathing right now.

Listen as you breathe in.

Listen as you breathe out.

How does the air feel going in?

How does it feel going out?

How deeply can you breathe in?  Down to the abdomen?  Just close your eyes for a few moments and just focus on breathing, perhaps for a count of ten breaths. How does that make you feel? What happens to your heart rate?  Any lower? Good.

For just a moment you forgot about everything. You just let it go. So you were in the here and now.

How good does that feel? So just do it each day. Contemplate and reflect. Commit to completing a small ten minute task each day. Perhaps relax for 10 minutes, or walk or some simple cleaning. Ten minutes is not a long time but what a difference it makes. So just commit yourself to making small positive changes because small steps are achievable. When you reflect on the good things each day you will surprise yourself. Commit to making small positive changes.

Highway or low way.

As I walked around delivering leaflets sometimes I took a high route and sometimes I took a low route. The low route can be beautiful and interesting and sometimes it is a good thing to take the low route because you see the detail a little more. This is especially useful if you usually take the high routes of life because we become too general in our ways of thinking.

Occasionally it is good to take the high route where we can see the bigger picture of the world around us. Perhaps we will appreciate seeing the bigger picture because it will help us to expand our personal horizons. Perhaps we may be able to alternatives routes. So if you are the kind of person who gets buried in the details of life, or just bogged down, just now and then take the high way, go up and then look out. It is good to try alternatives.

So this is March.

Motivate yourself.

Be active.

Be resourceful and reflective.

Contemplate and commit daily to small changes.

Occasionally just take a different route to achieve your goal – high way or low way.

Move onward just one step at a time. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step.

Take that step today.